Amber Portwood Wishes Leah Could Understand Her Trauma

Amber Portwood Wishes Leah Could Understand Her Trauma


“Teen Mom OG” star Amber Portwood admits to experiencing childhood trauma and might be triggered by her current drama with daughter Leah.

Teen Mom OG star Amber Portwood opened up on the Season 9 finale, discussing some of the childhood trauma she experienced as a teenager. The MTV star might have a good relationship with her mother Tonya now, but Amber revealed her mother was an alcoholic who told her to leave their home.

Amber made the confession while talking to MTV producer Townsend Hart toward the end of the episode. “When your mom kicked you out of the house when you were 15 and said, ‘Fine. You don’t want me in your life? Go live your dad.’ You said that was tough but it was a lesson you needed to learn for better perspective and you came back to your mom,” Townsend reminded Amber.

“Yeah, but with my father, I also got a bond with him,” Amber started.

She recalled a pivotal moment in their relationship where her father, Shawn Portwood Sr., called the authorities because she wanted to leave his house “so bad.” Her father was “in tears” over the situation but Amber didn’t want to live with him anymore.

“I said to the police officers, ‘I don’t want to f***ing be here. He’s an alcoholic and he’s dying.’ The police officer looked at me and he said, ‘Well wouldn’t you want to be here more than if he’s dying?’ And my dad looked over and he said, ‘I’m sorry, Amber. I’m very sorry,’” Amber told Townsend. “And now I understand and I wish that she would feel the same way. She doesn’t. I’m sorry.”

Amber Met With Her Therapist to Get Advice About Leah

Since things remained strained between Amber and Leah, the Teen Mom OG star decided to meet with her therapist, Dr. Ronald Stachler, MD, to discuss their complicated relationship.

“I just keep thinking about Leah. It’s super stressful. I don’t really know what to do because back in the day I would just say, ‘Oh this is my bipolar. I’m just feeling this way because of that.’ I wouldn’t think about why is this triggering me,” she told her doctor.

Dr. Stachler asked if Amber’s approach was different now because she’s starting to revisit her chaotic years as a teenager and asked if she felt it was time to start exploring it further.

“I don’t think you took into your account your trauma history and childhood development and the effects that had on you, he said. “I think we have to come up with something else to understand it better.”

A Professional Said Leah Might Not Forgive Amber Any Time Soon

In addition to meeting with her therapist, Amber also reached out to the On Your Feet Foundation, an organization that helps mothers rebuild relationships with their children. She was apprehensive about seeing Leah again and wanted to get some feedback on how to handle their meeting after canceling on Leah’s birthday.

“I really want one-on-one time with Leah but she’s not open to it right now. I have James tomorrow and I always bring him to see Leah at Gary’s house,” Amber told MTV cameras in a voiceover. “Since this will be the first time I see Leah I want to get some advice.”

She connected with Vicki Twomey, the leader of the organization, for a virtual meeting. “[My mom] was never really around but I never had the courage like Leah did to tell me [how she feels],” Amber told Vicki. “[Leah’s] angry. It’s not even about me, honestly.”

Vicki disagreed with Amber: “But it is. Because this relationship with Leah is about you. She’s looking for something from you, right?”

Amber explained that Leah spends more time with Gary Shirley’s wife, Kristina. “What she does with her stepmom is more of a bond situation,” Amber said. “[Leah’s] with [Kristina] way more than me.”

“I do try to talk to her,” Amber continued. “I miss her and I miss them. I’m going to go over there tomorrow. I’m not nervous. Honestly, I’m going to say I love you. She can walk upstairs. But at least she knows.”

“Remember that it’s hard to get forgiveness from people in this world,” Vicki cautioned. “It could be now, it could be five years from now, it could be on your deathbed.”

To find out what happens at the reunion, don’t miss Teen Mom OG when it airs Tuesdays at 8 p.m. Eastern time on MTV.

READ NEXT: Fans Troll Amber Portwood Over Unusual Hair Accessory