There is no doubt at all that men and women come in several behavioural layers. As such, one might not feel connected to his/her date regardless of how beautiful and intelligent the person may appear.
Getting a call back is not entirely dependent on how well the date goes. A date can go sour and afterward, the person would reach out. Also, It could go well and you get ghosted.
Ghosting, after a date, is based on different reasons and some far from how the date turns out. However, getting ghosted is not a gender-specific experience, men get ghosted just as women do after a date. Although, it is arguable that women get ghosted more than men, after a date.
The ghosting situation can leave you angry, sad, or confused. You start to wonder, did I do something wrong? Did I say something wrong? Did I not look good enough? The fact is there is no telling why you got ghosted because no communication was made.
Not even a text message saying why a second date won’t be happening. How hard could it be to text or call to say that, right? Even after the date went well on your own part.
According to Natalie Jones, a doctor of psychology, someone’s reason for ghosting you has little to do with you. She suggests that it could be a result of attachment issues, emotional level, and several more.
Here are 5 of the common reasons why people ghost after a date;
They are not into commitments
People go on dates for different reasons. Some for the fun of sharing a meal with a person, some to find a rebound and others to find a possible lifetime partner. When your motive doesn’t match theirs, there is a possibility, you won’t be getting a call or text back, after the day out together. Commitment in a relationship is a big step and certain people are not in that frame of mind to take the step. If building a relationship is the next step you intend to take and it isn’t theirs, then the probability of ghosting you after the date is high, regardless of how connected you might feel or not. No one likes to take up what they are not ready for.
There is someone else in the picture
Not everyone that goes on a date is completely single. Matter of fact, there is no rule against hitched individuals going on a date with a single person. Sometimes, hitched individuals go on dates to relieve themselves of stress from their partner, or just to experience hanging out with someone new. If you happen to go on a date with someone in this category, getting ghosted is very possible. A married person or someone in a serious relationship will not totally commit to someone single. Except the thought of being a side-chick or side-guy is appealing to you.
They got what they wanted
Dates can be beautiful and romantic, so much that an instant connection happens and sparks fly. This could lead to having sex, transferring money, or giving out a piece of vital information that helps the other person. For some people that have the motive of gaining something from the date asides from getting to know you, when they get what they want, there is likely to be no text or call back. You get ghosted.
They have anxiety issues
Getting ghosted could be a result of fear. There are people who battle with anxiety birthed from fear. The fear of not being enough and lovable, which could be a result of past failed relationships. This type of people hold back from reaching out after a date, to avoid going through such again. Even when the date goes well, It seems too good to be true. Dr. Jones says “they may do things to self-sabotage, like ghosting”.
Not interested
Regardless of how a date turns out if a person isn’t interested, it is likely for the person to go ghost after a date. The preference of what people desire in a partner varies. In most cases, if their date doesn’t measure up to what they desire, they ghost. People have a mental picture of what they want their partner to look like. Although, love happens and some people end up with the total opposite of what they initially pictured. Several others stick to what they have pictured.
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Source: TheGuardian