Ashley Cain Opens Up on Loss: ‘Some Days It Breaks Me’

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The Challenge: War of the Worlds cast

On April 25, The Challenge star Ashley Cain revealed the heartbreaking news that his baby daughter had died following a battle with leukemia shortly after her 8-month birthday. The reality TV star had posted about her health battle since her diagnosis of a rare and aggressive form of the disease at two months old.

Ashley had previously revealed on April 8 that his daughter Azaylia was given only days more to live after doctors told him they had exhausted all treatment options and tumors had been found in her brain, kidneys, liver, lungs and spleen. Ashley and his partner Safiyya Vorajee returned home after the diagnosis to spend time with Azaylia and make her comfortable in her final weeks.

Despite the grim diagnosis, Azaylia fought off the disease for over two more weeks until her death. Since then, Ashley has been open about the difficulty of moving on after his baby’s death and recently revealed how hard it’s been to plan her funeral.

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Ashley Wrote That He Never Thought He’d Be Planning His Child’s Funeral & Shared How Difficult It’s Been

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InstagramAshley Cain Instagram Story

Ashley took to Instagram on May 6 to share how he was doing and how difficult the process was of planning Azaylia’s funeral. He wrote that he’d always dreaded the first time in his life that he would have to plan a funeral but “I never ever thought it would be my child’s funeral.” He continued:

Nothing could ever have prepared me for this. Some days it breaks me and I can’t even [bear] to do it. I always thought I was tough, but making decisions on how I’m going to bury my baby is enough to bring me to my knees every single time. It’s hard to make sense of anything right now, especially why did it have to happen this way!

In a previous post, Ashley wrote, ” It’s taking everything I have to begin each new day. The pain of not being able to see my little girl is consuming my whole body.”

His Costars Have Been Sharing Their Love & Support During This Heartbreaking Time

Ashley hasn’t held back on social media in revealing how he’s doing in this time and the struggles he faces every day and support from his costars has been pouring in in response to his posts. Georgia Harrison wrote to Ashley, “oh ash her souls so strong she will continue to inspire us all as will you and your whole family.”

His partner on War of the Worlds, Kam Williams, has replied to Ashley’s posts with heart and prayer emojis while Natalie Negrotti and Joss Mooney have also expressed their love to Ashley and his family. Host TJ Lavin wrote on one of his posts, “No words” with a broken heart emoji.

Ashley concluded one of his posts by writing that in the most difficult times, he would ask himself what Azaylia would do and remind himself of her strength in her own battle. “So that’s exactly what I’m going to do!” he wrote. “I guess the pain will never fade and things will not get easier, but we will get stronger.”

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