Two-time “Big Brother” player Christmas Abbott recently reflected on how hard it was coming out of the show each time she played — but for very different reasons. The first time she played, she struggled with some identity issues. The second time, she had to deal with a “harsh public reaction” to her in the house and accusations of racism. Read on to find out what Abbott has been doing to work on herself and become a better person.
Abbott Said The Last Three Years Have Been An ‘Avalanche’
In an interview for “Big Brother” alum Zach Rance’s podcast, Abbott said that her “troubles” started before “Big Brother,” but the show exacerbated problems that were already there.
“My troubles started before [the show] if I want to be completely accountable for myself, which I am. And honestly, for the last three-plus years, I’ve just been in this avalanche and trying to swim up it. And coming out of ‘Big Brother’ again was no easy feat,” said Abbott.
She said that the first time she played “Big Brother,” she struggled with “personal identity things” after breaking her foot because she was having a lot of thoughts like “who am I without being an athlete.” But she realized the personal identity being so strongly tied to that was “the first thing [she] needed to shed.”
The second time she played, she came out of the house to a very “harsh public reaction” to the way she played the game, especially in regards to Da’Vonne Rogers and Bayleigh Dayton and accusations from the fans that Abbott is racist because of the way she spoke about those women when she nominated them.
Abbott said that she does not believe in her heart that those accusations are true but she did acknowledge that she needed to listen to what people were saying and examine herself.
[I experienced] a lot of hate, a lot of scrutiny, a lot of just harsh opinions … and I don’t believe I am what this movement is saying about me, however, I need to look and examine deeply what I did to provoke that thought. Whether right, wrong, or indifferent, it was my responsibility to examine myself even further and continue to educate myself on places that I thought I was eduated.
But that’s not enough. Knowing isn’t enough and that’s what I was kind of learning from that. So this very harsh public reaction … I’m not listening to them, I’m not believing them, but I’m like OK, I’m gonna take that and I’m gonna look over here and let me look and see where I see the cracks. Where is my blindspot?
Abbott said only then was she able to start “putting [her]self back together.”
Abbott Feels Like She Has Put in the Work Now
Abbott told Rance that the past few years, it has felt like she was “in school, learning, doing the work, grinding, hustling, reconfiguring [her] life, reconfiguring [her]self” and now she’s “graduating.”
“I’m being set free and now I’m getting the beautiful benefits of all that hard work. And you still have to tend the garden, right? You still have to do the work, but finally it’s like the light has come back and it’s really incredible because for a very long time and some very significant moments, I didn’t think it was going to,” Abbott admitted.
She finished by saying, “It really helped me continue to deepen my connection with myself and grow … [I’ve been] listening a lot more, trying to understand where somebody’s coming from. Listening to hear, not react.”
“Big Brother” season 23 premieres Wednesday, July 7 at 8 p.m. ET/PT on CBS.
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